Lead On, Jesus

Posted in Matthew

Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:20

jesus photo

I've had many times when I thought I had reached the last of the “new” news in these past six years or so. The time I realized I was actually ill. The time that I knew this was rare and chronic. The point where I accepted that disability was for, well... ever. The loss of more and more and more... and more.

At every stage, it was like Jesus was just sitting with me. He had His elbows on His knees, just relaxed-like. I sat beside Him, head in hands. I looked up, straightened my shoulders, briskly wiped the tears away, and said, “Well, ok then. We're here. You're with me. I can do this.”

And then I just would sorta start to unpack. You know what I mean? Get comfy. Decorate. Settle in. Cause I mean, this is the new normal, right?

Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I was mostly brought here kicking and screaming, but there's nothing that will change it, so I may as well settle in. With Jesus, of course.

That's when it usually hits me that Jesus is not participating in this home-making. I amble over to sit next to Him again. He's still in exactly the same position he was in. He hasn't even changed facial expression. He's patient like that. Thankfully.

I sit down next to Him, and just enjoy the silence, the peace that only His presence can bring. But I'm determined to hop back up and get that suitcase emptied soon. I take a chance and look over at Him. I smile to reassure Him that I'm okay. Surely that's why He's still sitting here, right?

Jesus, He doesn't move a muscle, just looks over at me, kinda sideways. The look on His face is pure sympathy. Understanding. It chills me because I've seen that look before. I know exactly what it means.

See, we're not really at the place where Home is yet. We're just going a bit farther each time. A bit deeper. Together, always together. And He just sits quietly while I come to terms, such as it is. Get a better grip. Adjust.

Accept.

Then He says, oh so softly, “You ready?” I place my hand in His outstretched one. It's warm and strong and tender. And nail-scarred.

That's when I remember why this journey is okay. It's okay because He's walked it already. He never moves me on before I'm ready for the next part. His instincts are flawless. And His love.... oh that's just mindblowingly big and deep and wide and perfect.

Lead on, Jesus. I'm right behind you.

Father God, never stop leading. And may I never stop putting my hand in Yours and following. I love you. In Jesus' Name, Amen...


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May God Bless You,

Shelly

When He Quoted Myself to Me

Posted in Jeremiah

“Prepare your shields, and advance into battle!" - Jeremiah 46:3

This week I've been listening. Taking the quiet as an invitation and tuning in. He's spoken to me through the healing words of friends, reminding me of restored relationships and the precious gifts they are. He's spoken to me through songs, both new and old. He's spoken to me through hugs and smiles and kind words from others. The isolation is lessening. The fear is receding.

But the main thing He's done has blown my mind a little. The main thing He's done is remind me of my own words. Past posts that I've written that I have forgotten all about. When I go back and read them, they seem even truer now than they did then. How did my younger self know that I would need those today, that they would become my own lifeline? The Holy Spirit.

And so today I share the one that has kept me going all week. Through next week, I'll be sharing others, resurrecting them if you will. I hope you don't mind. This first one happens to be one I recorded before my voice troubles began.

Heavenly Lord, it amazes me how You gave me these words knowing how desperately I would need them right this minute. Thank You for reminding me. In Jesus' Name, Amen...


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May God Bless You,

Shelly