Blessing in Disguise

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.” –
Isaiah 43:1-2

photo credit: martinak15 via photopin cc

photo credit: martinak15 via photopin cc

My illness has a unique symptom. It’s called Pulsatile Tinnitus, which is a fancy way of saying I can hear a whooshing sound in time to my heart beat in my ears. It comes and goes, and sometimes it’s louder than others, but it’s one of the hallmark symptoms of Intracranial Hypertension.

The times when the whooshing is loudest and most disturbing coincides with the times that my pressure is highest. In the doctor’s minds, that symptom getting worse equals panic time. More testing, closer observation… fear.

But let me tell you what it means to me. God is sending my own pulse into my ears at the roughest moments, drowning out all of the clamoring of necessary testing and the voices that are afraid. He is reminding me in a tangible way that it is He who controls each rush of blood. He keeps my heart pumping and my blood flowing and my breath ebbing in and out.

The whooshing hums, “Stay focused… in this moment… just trust… I’m here. Stay focused… in this moment… just trust… I’m here.”

It sounds a lot like the sounds a baby hears in the womb. It’s deeply comforting to me, in a time that otherwise feels frantic and scary. I mean, let’s get real, how many other people get such an awareness of their body’s deeper processes? As symptoms go, I kinda lucked out.

God intentionally blesses us in the most wondrous ways, doesn’t he?

Holy God, thank You for the ways you bless me even in my challenges. You amaze me. I need You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…


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May God Bless You,

Shelly

6 Comments on “Blessing in Disguise

  1. It’s all in perspective, isn’t it? I love that you are looking at the audible sound of your heart pumping as a reminder from God that He is at work! He is never silent…literally!

    Blessings & love, Joan
    Joan recently posted…Sharing His Beauty Blog Link UpMy Profile

    • Perspective is my one word for this year, Joan!! I’ve been learning so much. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

    • I’m so glad you were encouraged, Barbie. Thank you. My word for this year is Perspective, and the Lord is teaching me so many neat things. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  2. Shelly, I hear that same exact unique whoosing noise because I, too, have Intracranial Hypertension but I never thought to think of it the way you described it! Thank you so much for sharing how the Lord has shown you to hear that noise. What a great reminder for myself as well!

    • Barb, I am so glad that God gave me this perspective to be able to share with you! Thanks for blessing me with your comment. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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