Collateral Damage Check-In
Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” - Matthew 19:26
So, it's time for our check-in regarding the anger challenge we've been doing for a week. Let me tell you, not surprisingly, the Lord has just blown me away this week!
The first couple of days, I was wallowing in my grouch so seriously, I really, really wanted to forego the challenge. Then I remembered all of you out there who would be reading this post today, and I wanted to be able to write honestly. So thanks for keeping me accountable.
I really amazed myself at holding a grudge against... well, no one! I mean, honestly, how can I hold so stubbornly to anger that has no target, no blame, and no focus? I sure am territorial about it, though. Following the three steps, in order, really did help me to be able to wipe the slate clean each night.
After pouring my heart out, out loud, each evening, I did my best to channel my tears into creative outlets. I let the Spirit lead me, but my creative talents are extraordinarily limited! Some nights I sang. That was a big deal to me because singing is both discouraging and draining to me right now. But I wanted to offer my praise and pour my heart out in song a few nights, so that's what I did. I also wrote a few blog posts, as I felt led about it.
Let me tell you, the “clean slate” part of the night was easier and easier as the week went on. I was so afraid that I would wake each morning still bowed under with the weight of the anger on my shoulders. But I didn't. I really didn't. I also found that through the day, I was slower to anger. I kept a list of times I felt or expressed anger, so that I could address it all in our evening conversations. By the end of the week, the list was tiny.
It thrills my soul when God's Word stands up to every ugly challenge we can throw at it. My expectations were low, because it relied on me and I know what a failure I am. God proved that He can work with a stubborn mule with a head as hard as a marble pillar. He wants to do it for all of us, no matter how slow of a learner we are.
I am going to continue this until I feel God has mastered me, and even then, I will keep it in my back pocket as a go-to solution for when anger rears its ugly head. I'm also going to apply it to all sorts of emotions I'm grappling with... depression, pride, grief.
Did you do the weekly challenge? How did it work for you?
Holy God, I have no idea how it works, but it works!! Every word You have given us is beautiful truth that brings light. Thank You for shining so faithfully into my dark places. In Jesus' Name, Amen...
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May God Bless You,