In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.
- Psalm 4:8
I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're like me. You now have a strange relationship with sleep.
Am I right?
I always have these grand plans to get to bed at a decent hour, to get enough hours of sleep, to truly rest.
Then the night comes on. Why oh why is it that as soon as that moon makes an appearance, all my grand plans go right out the window?
I think it's because I've linked sleep with closure in my mind. Does that make sense?
I want things to all be okay before I lie down. My eyes shouldn't close when there is so much upheaval!
And let's face it, things haven't really been okay in a very long time!
Sometimes it feels like sleep requires answers. A knowledge of what is happening and what's to come. Other times the stress of the day feels unfinished, ricocheting around in my brain like a record that always skips on my favorite part.
At night, sadness feels unexpressed, panic feels imminent, and loneliness claws.
I want to share something I have learned from experience.
It's okay to not be okay.
Okay-ness is not required before you are allowed to sleep.
You can continue working on being okay the next day.
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. - Colossians 1:17
God designed the blanket of night for our pause. He created the pillow of deep silence for our refreshing.
It's okay to lay it all down and sleep. Even if you're not okay.
God holds it all together until the morning. And you know what happens then.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23
For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning. - Psalm 30:5
Dear God, it feels like things haven't been okay for a really long time. But I trust and I know that you are holding all things together. In you alone I will lie down and sleep. In Jesus' Name, Amen...
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May God Bless You,