I Am Not a Survivor

Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. - Psalm 5:2

photo credit: v.maxi via photopin cc

photo credit: v.maxi via photopin cc

I get it. I understand that we all want to feel strong. We feel the need to remind each other that we can get through this. We honor strength and power in this day and age.

But I just want to stand and say, “I am not a survivor. I am a victim.”

There is no way on earth that I can continue to do this day after day.

I remember when I was young, watching old cartoons that always seemed to feature a helpless woman tied up and placed on the train tracks. She always cried, “Help me, oh, help me” in a hideously whiny voice.

Do you want to know a secret? I am that woman.

Pain has me all tied up in knots I didn't even know were possible. Questions have me flat on my back, shouting at the sky. Fear rumbles my foundation until I can feel it in my teeth. The train is coming.

And I am helpless to escape.

Do you know why I'm so willing to admit this? Because I have a hero. And I need Him. I'm so in love with Him, I just might be willing to tie my own self up and go looking for the nearest railroad tracks, just to have the chance to glimpse Him racing to the scene.

And so I refuse to claim that I'm a survivor, instead of a victim. I will not shout about being a warrior, or fighting like a girl. Because left to my own devices, leaning on my own strength, I am lost. That train will obliterate me.

We have a hero. He will save the day... every day. From right inside of each of us.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. - Colossians 1:13-14

I'm taking off the boxing gloves. Climbing out of the ring. Putting on my whiniest voice and crying out from my bondage.

Help me, oh, help me!

Dear Lord, come into my life, do Your work in me. Rescue me, Father. I am much too weak and lost to go on alone. In Jesus' Name, Amen...


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May God Bless You,

Shelly

10 Comments on “I Am Not a Survivor

  1. You are so right, we can do nothing without His help. One of my favorite verses in Isaiah 59 reminds me that His arm is not to short that he can't reach down and save me, neither is his hearing to dull that he can't hear my cry for help.

    Blessings!
    Dawn
    Dawn recently posted...The Praying Life ~ {A Journey through Prayer}My Profile

    • Love that, Dawn! Thanks for sharing that here so all can be encouraged. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  2. Just a thought Shelly- about " everyone needs compassion"- which I know is utterly true- but I can only keep on keeping on with the having compassion on close family members who continue to abuse me and who never consider the affect their abuse has on me.
    I am a survivor, not a victim, only by the grace of the Lord Jesus.
    Through it all I have come to understand how much we all need unconditional love, and so even if I love and receive abuse in return, I know I am only answerable for MY actions, not theirs.
    God Bless you Shelly.

    • Mary, compassion never expects us to submit ourselves to abuse. Please don't do that. Your heart is so big. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

    • Holly, so glad you were encouraged! Thanks for always being such a blessing to me! Love Testimony Tuesday! Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

    • Hi, Lauren! 🙂 Thank you for blessing me with your encouraging comment. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  3. Thanks for linking up with us Shelly. I loved reading this. (The picture you used really captured what you described and made me laugh). It's so true! When I've been at the gym there have actually been times God has reminded me that while keeping myself fit and healthy is important I can't let it become an obsession or idol because my physical strength is weakness. HE is my strength and will sustain me. 🙂 Great post!
    Faith Lohr recently posted...GROW in His Word Colossians 1:13-14My Profile

    • Thanks, Faith! It's so great to see you here! I'm really enjoying the GROW series. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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