When everything within me cries – Jesus

When everything within me cries Jesus

I’ve told you before about my friend, Anita. I can’t fully express how much I love her. She inspires and amazes me every day. She makes me laugh. She sits in the quiet dark with me. She is a sister of my heart. I hope you’ll help me welcome her to Renewed Daily today. After you read her words here, I know you’ll want to visit her site, Scatter the Stones. Be blessed.

It’s been another day of exhausting, excruciating, exploding head pain that makes you hold your head in your hands, wishing there was some way you could exchange your head for a new one, even just temporarily.

The unbearable pain emanates through every bone, muscle, tendon, and ligament in my face, head, neck and shoulders.

My face inflamed with a strange mix of cold like cooling iron fresh from the furnace, and heat that rages on and on.

Eye pain is so bad… no words to describe.

Sickness envelopes me in response to the inflammation and beg God to stop it from progressing to being physically sick. I can’t bare being sick… Memories flash past in my mind of my childhood when I used to grab hold of my Dad’s hands, pleading with him to make it stop, now grabbing hold of my husband’s and asking him to join me in prayer.

A few minutes later, my prayer isn’t answered as I had hoped for, as my body violently rejects the chemical assault it’s under.

I can’t cry, desperately wanting some way to release the emotional effects.  My eyes just can’t handle it.

The only light I can handle is by the light of a lit candle.

As the candle flame gently flickers to its own rhythm, thoughts turn to the Light of my life – my Saviour, my Lord, my Comforter who sits with me in the darkness and never lets me go.

Unable to drink or eat, medication becomes nothing more than something I hope to dull the pain later.

Standing? No.
Lying down? No.
Sitting? No.
Propped up half way? Just about…

Oh how I crave the beauty of silence, when all I can hear is the storm reverberating around my weary head and lashing against the window panes of my temporary home.

Everything within me cries – Jesus

I so desperately need Jesus. Not just now, but every second of every day and night.

A cool breeze kisses my face. I know I am in the presence of my Lord and King.

I lean over and press play on my lullabies. I don’t need to search for the song I need to play, as its set ready for moments such as these –

Hidden in my heart volume 3 – By His Name – Scripture Lullabies
For a free MP3 please see http://www.hiddeninmyheart.com/volume3

As long as my spirit can cry out the most beautiful of names, I will be ok. As I set my eyes of faith on the One I am living for, nurturing the joy in the depths of my heart with His truth, knowing that one day I will see Him face to face and will be free from this unending pain.

All is well.

All is well.

All is well with my soul.

AnitaAnita ~ loves to keep her eyes fixed on the Author and Perfecter of our faith. She lives in England and is married to her best friend Matt. Her heart’s desire is to walk alongside those who are in pain, reflecting God’s Love and Grace, while sharing His message of Hope. You can find her sharing the devotions God places on her heart at www.scatterthestones.co.uk

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May God Bless You,


11 Comments on “When everything within me cries – Jesus

  1. Dear Anita,
    Thank you for writing this for us, for Him. A heart cry that He hears.
    I love you…Linda Holleman
    Thank you Shelly for Anita sharing with us!!

  2. Anita, this is AMAZING
    So raw and heartfelt
    So honest and true
    So transparent and real
    And so much JESUS
    I LOVE it
    and I LOVE YOU
    Thanks, Shelly, for having Anita join you here today ♥♥♥

    • Hi Barb,

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read my guest post and for your comment.

      So glad you liked the post.

      Love and blessings

  3. Anita I am with you by the candle light. What a beautiful song. Praying you will find some comfort. God is hearing your cry. Love you.

  4. Chronic pain and illness is a terrible and frustrating thing. I’m so sorry that you have endured such days…and nights! But, thankfully, we have a Savior who is right by our sides. Thanks for sharing your hope and encouragement.

    Blessings, JOan

  5. Dear Anita,
    Thank you for a beautiful post.
    I’m so very sorry for your horrible pain.
    Calling His Name brings such comfort. How blessed are we, that we can call on Him.
    Praying for some relief Anita.
    All is well with my soul.
    Love and Hugs my friend.

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