I have very vivid memories of my first lumbar puncture. Now don't get me wrong, while LPs are never fun, they don't have to be torturous, either. This one was truly awful.
I remember the nurse who was standing sweetly by my head throughout the ordeal, asking, “Are you okay?”
I was crying. I was not okay. But I knew she was asking to try and comfort me, to try and help. “No,” I replied, “No. I want to go home.”
“I just want to go home.”
Later that day I did eventually go home. Do you know what I learned that afternoon? That home wasn't really what I was wanting. What I was wanting was to take it back... take back the pain and the fear and the tears and the whole terrible experience. I wanted to be back in the last place I remembered being happy and healthy and carefree.
Even back at home, I was still a changed person. That's part of the sadness of chronic illness. We want to go home. We want to turn back the clock. And it's a hard, hard day when we realize that home is just as changed as we are.
Want some good news?
For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.
So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. - 2 Corinthians 5:1-10
One day we will go to an eternal home prepared just for us. Time will not exist there. There will be no pain, no tears. No hunger or fear or desperation will mar the beauty of our new life. We will be with those we love who have gone before us. We will be in the presence of our Savior. Forever.
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” - John 14:1-3
Dear God, ease our suffering here on earth for just a little while. We'd like to curl up and rest with our head on Your shoulder for a bit. In Jesus' Name, Amen...
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May God Bless You,