Updated on October 4, 2015
30 Ways I Have Been Blessed Through My Illness
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. – Psalm 37:5-6
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My friend, Will, is just one of the many people who conquer their illness every day and inspire me to keep the faith. This one’s for you, Will. 🙂
Last week, in honor of Invisible Illness Awareness Week, I shared my 30 things meme… 30 Things You Might Not Know About My Invisible Illness. This is the mirror to that meme. You see, you might not realize it, but I have also been blessed by this journey. Here are 30 ways.
1. I am now a more patient person, content with a slower pace. I am much less anxious in general. I know. Trust me, you don’t want to know what it was like before. :p
2. I am less of a control freak. I have learned to depend on others and that their way is just as good, or sometimes better, than mine. Shhh, it’s our little secret, ok?
3. As Will worded so perfectly, “I have gone from religion to relationship” with God. So deep, and I’ve gone deep. It’s a beautiful thing.
4. I have learned in real tangible ways, that my value is not in what I am able to do. To be honest, I’m still learning and relearning this one, pretty much daily.
5. I have met people since becoming ill that I never would have met otherwise. Some of these people are known only online, but they are brothers and sisters of my heart, and I wouldn’t want to miss ou on the blessing of knowing them.
6. I have learned how to be empathetic.
7. I have learned to trust. Not everything that is real can be quantified and documented.
8. I have learned the value of rest and quiet.
9. I have gotten to see, live and in person, what an absolutely amazing man I married. I love him more each minute. We have a surety in our love now that couldn’t have gotten here any other way… I know that he will always be here, that he loves me for me. That is invaluable.
10. I now recognize how much my time and attention mean to my children. Time when absolutely nothing is “happening” except that we are together. Priceless, to both of us.
11. Illness has given me the clarity to see the people who weren’t genuine in my life, and the “ain’t nobody got time for that” to be able to move on without them.
12. I now treasure the tiniest things that most people take for granted. Swallowing, a shower, being able to see well enough to read or watch a movie. These things are HUGE in my life.
13. I have learned that pride is overrated.
14. I always take the time to listen now. Nothing is more important that relationship. Period.
15. I have been amazed over and over again at the provision and faithfulness and care of our Savior.
16. I have learned that grace is so much more than just the forgiveness of my sin.
17. Prayer is now the first and most powerful resort.
18. Rest is a beautiful, necessary thing.
19. I have learned to slow down and really soak things in. I notice details and use all my senses to take in a moment.
20. “How are you?” is no longer just a greeting.
21. I have much more time for prayer and Bible study now.
22. I now recognize that boredom is a blessing.
23. I am utilizing social media in ways that matter, rather than letting them run me.
24. I have learned to say NO, and that the world doesn’t fall apart if I do.
25. I now recognize that limitations are there for my good, not to frustrate me.
26. I am quicker now to recognize stress and much more active in eliminating it from my life.
27. I am forced to view things from an eternal perspective in order to continue in hope. This forces me closer to God on a regular basis.
28. I see only beauty in my church family. Because I am there so sporadically, I don’t have time for the dramas and the nit-picking. It’s lovely.
29. I have been able to meet people who would have felt alone had we not shared an illness. And I would have been lonely without them, too.
30. I have learned that the Why doesn’t matter nearly as much as the Who. <3
Father in Heaven, Thank You for showing me the blessings in the midst of my trials and suffering. Help each person reading this list to be able to relate their own joy in the middle of the storm. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
Shadowboxing
So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. – 1 Corinthians 9:26
When I came across this verse last week, it really struck me. What is shadowboxing? The dictionary defines it as“to make the motions of attack and defense, as in boxing, as a training or conditioning procedure” or “to go through boxing motions without an opponent”. The thought intrigued me… am I just shadowboxing? Or do I run with purpose in every step?
Our Christianity isn’t a “dry run”! We only get one chance at this life, and we are told that it is indeed a fight that we are in! I want to be certain that I am fighting my true opponent, and to do that I need to understand who or what that is. So often I find myself fighting against my temporary frustrations and affliction.Â
I jab at my failing eyesight, pivot and kick at my pain, send a mean right hook to my lost dreams. But each motion hits only air. I am shadowboxing when I focus on these temporary enemies. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18) They are actually just distractions sent in by the real enemy to wear me down for the actual battle. (1 Peter 5:8) The true enemy is not something of this world, and I cannot fight evil by shadowboxing with these distractions, because they are not my true opponent. (Ephesians 6:12)
So what can I change to be sure that I am running with purpose in every step? The first thing that I can do is to recognize that although these things I battle are intense, they are not eternal. That will help to refocus my mind onto the things with which I should be concerned. Then I can put on the whole armor of God:
“Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” – Ephesians 6:14-17
Now I am ready. And I need to do these things each day, not once for all time. The battle rages on, and it is much bigger than the things that go wrong inside or beside me.Â
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Father, help me to see the eternal picture each day. In that way, help me to focus beyond myself and discover how to run with purpose. I want to run toward you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
Come Out Swinging
The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm. – Exodus 14:14
To “come out swinging” means to strongly defend yourself or something you believe in… I’m a fighter, so when I hear this, something inside me says, “Yes!”
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But let’s try a different tactic today, shall we? Let’s practice fighting the biblical way.
The LORD himself will fight for you.
Could we ask for anything more? Could we find a finer champion?
Just stay calm.
Ah. There’s the rub, isn’t it? Just. Stay. Calm.
I’ll take a page from my precious little nephew’s book on this one.
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The kind of swinging that calms him most is more the kind our King has in mind, don’t you think?
The next time you hear “come out swinging”, well… do just that.
The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.
Lord Jesus, remind us today, when it feels like a fight, that You have other plans for us. Better plans. Sweet plans. Help us to trust. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
Even In This
But the Lord stands beside me like a great warrior.
Before him my persecutors will stumble.
They cannot defeat me.
They will fail and be thoroughly humiliated.
Their dishonor will never be forgotten. – Jeremiah 20:11
Right beside me
like a mighty Defender
even when others turn away
Nearby and ready
like a stalwart Champion
even when the words sting and scar
Close at hand
like a trusted Hero
even when life feels like too much
You are always, always here, Father. Right here. Ready and able for anything I could need.
Remind me, when I forget, as I so often do, that they cannot defeat me. This cannot defeat me. You have already won, and the one You were fighting for was me.
Thank You for Your tender presence, Lord, and for being a Keeper of Promises, even in this…
In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
The Time I Starred in “The Hobbit”
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying,“My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” – Matthew 26:39
So last weekend, we rented the latest in the Hobbit movies. I loved it. Really, you should see it.
Imagine my surprise to find myself right there in the middle of the movie! Seriously, I’m a star! I was kicking booty and taking names.
The only reason I recognized myself was the fact that my head topped the Mohs scale of hardness charts. I knew right then that I was looking in a mirror. Tusks and all.Â
**(I come in at about 1:10 and go till 1:30…. an awesome 20 seconds of screen-time)
So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. – Galatians 6:9
There’s no doubt my stubborn will has at times been the only reason I keep going.
And so as I pick up my battle axe and get ready to head-butt, I will pray that my hard-headedness may never be used to stand in the way of the will of the Almighty. May I ever be submissive to my King.
But when the enemy ambles over, all big and awkward, may I knock him to his knees without missing a beat. When ugly is charging me for all he’s worth, may I meet him head-to-head, assured of whose victory is already secured.
Are you hard-headed, too? You probably are, seeing as you’re still here, still kicking, still praising.
From one hard headed dwarf to another, “Fight On!”
Holy God, thank you for a noggin that withstands what the devil throws at me. Thank you for Your strength, so that I never have to rely on my own. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
Are You Ready to Throw in the Towel?
“Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1).
I write this to those of you who feel you are just done trying to tell medical staff that something is wrong, because they don’t seem to listen.
The ones who are tired of telling people about your pain and it getting you nowhere–except for having them doubt you even more. This is because they don’t find anything in the battery of painful tests that should give them the answer.
I write this to each of you who are ready to throw in the towel and just keep your mouth shut . . . and not say anything more.
I hope you’ll hop on over to Rest Ministries today.
I’m sharing the rest of this post there…. <3Â
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Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2015
Who Are We Fighting?
Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:29
Oh, the fight, the seemingly endless fight. How can we not fight? It seems like a foreign invader, a terrorist even, has entered into our bodies and our lives. The invader is relentless, bent on destruction, a bringer of pain. Everything becomes more difficult. I was thinking about this today and God brought to mind this verse.
While our illness, pain, and disability don’t define us, they are part of who we are. By taking the stance of a soldier fighting off an enemy in a war, we are really fighting against our own selves. That is very counter-productive. Yet this is the main advice we get from others… “don’t give up, keep fighting.” Is that really the best advice to follow? Would they give the same advice to someone who has lost a limb? Someone who has a birth defect, or someone who is terminally ill is usually given much more leeway from the “outsiders looking in”. For them, they recognize that resistance is a waste of energy. I contend that those with chronic illness deserve the same understanding.
Well, sure, you say, but how can we accomplish this? Of course we don’t want to just surrender to our illness. Make no mistake, we will never be defeated. But this is what a constant fighting of our situation might lead us directly to! I don’t know about you, but I only have so much energy in a day, and I am much better off directing that energy toward living as much of my life as I can, rather than fighting something I will never be able to change. Some days that energy is depleted, and I need a day or two in bed or the recliner so that I can store up more for the days ahead. If I don’t take that sabbatical, I will set myself even further back, inviting in more sickness and pain, and perhaps need an even longer step-back before I can recover. Sometimes I will need to say ‘no’ to activities I crave and enjoy. This is not because I am surrendering, it is because I recognize that this is not an enemy, this is my condition and my body and my limitations, and I am honoring that instead of expending valuable energy fighting the inevitable. Because if there is a fight, there is an inevitable crash, and it’s not pretty or easy. And when that crash comes, I am the one who has to deal with the pain and grief. My family are the ones who must suffer watching me hurt, and do without me in their day-to-day lives while I recover from an energy over-spend. There are always consequences.
I would say to those who give this advice, “Every day is a type of battle for me. I AM FIGHTING. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes every hour.”
Let’s all be more aware from now on that people who give this advice have no clue how we are receiving it. While we must never lose hope, we are allowed periods of rest, a Sabbath of sorts, and these times are crucial for our sanity and even our very survival. We must learn to live in harmony with our illnesses and our limitations. To do anything else does not allow us to be available for our God, and that is not acceptable. To do anything less shows a lack of faith in God’s plan for our lives, and who among us knows better than He?
So today I say, if you are able to be active today, You Go! If you are in a Sabbath Day, Rest Well. If you are in Limbo, Welcome to the Club. It’s not a fun club, but it’s got some super-cool members! Where ever we each are today, let’s support one another and have faith that we know our own bodies and we should listen to them.
Dear Lord, help us to lay down the weapons we use against our own selves unknowingly. Show us the way to live in harmony with our conditions and our limitations. Grant us the grace to accept ourselves, and at the same time the strength to never give up hope. What a balance! We know we can only achieve it through You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on September 20, 2015
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know 2015
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But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
1. The illnesses I live with is Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (aka Pseudotumor Cerebri) and a neuro degenerative disease, as yet unnamed.
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year 2011.
3. But I had symptoms since 2003.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is not being able to take care of my family.
5. Most people assume that I will be healed, but there is no cure.
6. The hardest part about mornings are the pain and exhaustion. I hate not being able to always get up to get the kids off to school, leaving that to my hubby.
7. My favorite medical TV show is None…. I do not watch medical tv shows. I get enough of that in real life. :p
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is my laptop.
9. The hardest part about nights are the pain and inability to fall asleep.
10. Each day I take 12 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I am open to try most, but would consult my doctor first.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose a visible one. Due to my nerve damage, mine is mostly visible now, as I have to use a power chair to get around.
13. Regarding working and career, I will never be able to work again.
14. People would be surprised to know that I have hardware in my brain, and cannot remember approximately a year of my life.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been being homebound and dependent.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was survive it.
17. The commercials about my illness are non-existent.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is driving.
19. It was really hard to have to give up running and playing with my kids.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is writing.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would cook and clean and dance with my hubby.
22. My illness has taught me that I have value outside what I can offer.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is “The Teacher is always quiet during a test.” or “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”
24. But I love it when people mean it when they ask “How are you?”.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:
“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them please give yourself grace. It’s ok to not embrace this right away.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is how it affects every single aspect of my life.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was listened.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because I want to raise awareness and let people know they are not alone.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel thankful.
Click this image to read more 30 Things Memes and learn about Invisible Illness Week.
Heavenly Father, thank you for each beautiful soul reading this. Surround them with our love and comfort. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on September 22, 2015
How to Be an Overcomer
The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” – Mark 9:24
This verse is so me. Am I the only one?
I believe. I want to believe. I want to be an overcomer.
I was talking earlier this week with a most precious friend, a fellow sister in suffering. We were talking about wanting to be an overcomer. How do we do it? What does it mean?
Of course, I went to the scripture for the answers. That’s always the right place to go, no matter the question.
May I share with you what I found?
First and foremost, I learned that there is only one Overcomer.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
Secondly, if we are Christian, then we share in Christ. We put Him on.
And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. – Galatians 3:37
We die with Him, therefore we are also raised with Him.
For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. – Colossians 2:12
Because we trusted in the mighty power of God. We still do, don’t we?
That’s how it comes to be that we, in our groping and fumbling and feeble way, are always and forever, Overcomers.
Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength.. – 1 Corinthians 15:43
Feeling especially weakened today? I pray this message rings right into your heart like the purest of notes. You are mighty. And you are not alone.
Dear God, thank You for the amazing gift of Your Son that you have offered to each of us. Thank You for welcoming us as Overcomers. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on September 21, 2015
Dear People Who Have Illness Envy
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. – Romans 12:15
Dear People Who Have Illness Envy,
Can we talk for just a minute? It won’t take long, I promise.
I assume you know who you are. There are lots of you, so spread the word, would you?
Please do not say things like, “I wish I could stay home all day like you do.” Or, “You get to lay around a lot! Lucky!” Or, “Must be nice to just be able to have everyone do everything for you.”
No. No, it’s not. It’s not nice or fun or easy or some days, even bearable.
I want you to think back to the last time you had the flu. Remember when you got to miss a whole week at work while your fever raged and you puked your guts up? Fun times, right?
That’s what it’s like for us.
We would love nothing more than to be able to hold a job or make a meal or get tired out from our activity level rather than our chronic illness. It would be seriously awesome if we could scrub every toilet within a five mile radius and never even have time to watch television.
See, it’s only fun if you have a choice. If you choose to take a vacation and lay around all day, that’s a blast. If it’s your choice to quit your job and stay home, that’s a blessing.
We have no choice. That’s the difference.
We know that you sometimes just want to cheer us. Illness envy doesn’t do that.
We know that you’re desperate for a way to relate. Illness envy robs us of the compassion we truly need.
So the next time you’re tempted to be jealous, picturing us blissfully resting on a cloud, munching bon-bons, without a care in the world… just… don’t.
Sincerely,
The Rest of Us
Dear Lord, thank You for the people you place into our lives who “get it”. Thank You for the strength to go on each day. Please let compassion and empathy grow, Lord. The world could use a lot more of that. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
