Updated on July 3, 2014
Recommendation Saturday: Just Listen!
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. – Proverbs 12:15
Starting this week, I will try to bring you something on Saturday that I recommend. Maybe it will be a book that’s really helped me, or a song that I find particularly encouraging. It might be a suggestion for making life easier, a tip to help you, or a recipe I want to share. Hope this will bring something light to start your weekend!
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So here it is, my first ever Recommendation Saturday….
For those who really just want someone to listen, and not try to fix it… enjoy 🙂
It’s Not About the Nail!!
Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish. The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit? – Proverbs 18:13-14
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Cultivate Dignity, Shun Pride
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. – Proverbs 31:25
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Dignity and pride are two words that are used so interchangeably in our culture that I felt it was important for me to learn the difference, especially after reading the above scripture. Obviously the word dignity, describing here the wife whose price is “far above rubies”, stands in stark contrast to any scripture we can find about pride. Take for instance the most well-known: Pride goes before destruction,and haughtiness before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18 or this one Psalm 101:5 – I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors. I will not endure conceit and pride.
There can be no doubt that the two words, dignity and pride, are opposites. So, I set out to discover what the defining line is between the two, and this is what I found. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. – 1 John 2:16 Wow, I had to take a minute, maybe you do, too. Let’s read that last part again. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. Pride is not from the Father. There is the key.
Dignity is defined as a way of appearing or behaving that suggests seriousness and self-control. Do seriousness and self-control come from the Father? Let’s look into the Bible for our answers, as we always should. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! – Galatians 5:22-23 A resounding YES for self-control! It is a fruit produced by the Holy Spirit in our lives, when we submit to Him! And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. – Titus 2:7 The teaching that guides and rules our lives is serious!
Of course, my next step is to apply what I’ve learned to my life of chronic illness and disability. What does pride in the midst of my suffering do for me? It encourages me to depend on self, it leads me to further pain as I refuse to accept my limitations, and it keeps me from asking for help, even from my Heavenly Father! None of those things are good for me or for those around me. Pride can also cause me to react to others as if I have a “chip on my shoulder”. I can be led by anger and have a hard time with relationships as I expect to be kicked at by others. Hmmm, so far the experiences I have had with pride are validating what the scripture revealed about it… it is NOT from the Father.
Now let’s look at dignity. Dignity will keep me from jumping to wrong conclusions, embarrassing myself and others with harsh reactions. It will keep me patient during the hard times in my illness. It will remind me where my strength comes from, and will prove to others that there is something different inside of me, a difference brought by the Holy Spirit and a relationship with Christ. Again, findings completely in sync with the scripture’s claims.
Today I challenge you, along with myself, to clothe yourself in dignity and shun pride. Invite the Spirit to settle in and aid you. I know I will be doing the same!
Lord, bring us closer to You through this study. Help us to acknowledge the pain that pride brings to our lives, and to turn instead to dignity, which comes from You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Who Are We Fighting?
Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11:29
Oh, the fight, the seemingly endless fight. How can we not fight? It seems like a foreign invader, a terrorist even, has entered into our bodies and our lives. The invader is relentless, bent on destruction, a bringer of pain. Everything becomes more difficult. I was thinking about this today and God brought to mind this verse.
While our illness, pain, and disability don’t define us, they are part of who we are. By taking the stance of a soldier fighting off an enemy in a war, we are really fighting against our own selves. That is very counter-productive. Yet this is the main advice we get from others… “don’t give up, keep fighting.” Is that really the best advice to follow? Would they give the same advice to someone who has lost a limb? Someone who has a birth defect, or someone who is terminally ill is usually given much more leeway from the “outsiders looking in”. For them, they recognize that resistance is a waste of energy. I contend that those with chronic illness deserve the same understanding.
Well, sure, you say, but how can we accomplish this? Of course we don’t want to just surrender to our illness. Make no mistake, we will never be defeated. But this is what a constant fighting of our situation might lead us directly to! I don’t know about you, but I only have so much energy in a day, and I am much better off directing that energy toward living as much of my life as I can, rather than fighting something I will never be able to change. Some days that energy is depleted, and I need a day or two in bed or the recliner so that I can store up more for the days ahead. If I don’t take that sabbatical, I will set myself even further back, inviting in more sickness and pain, and perhaps need an even longer step-back before I can recover. Sometimes I will need to say ‘no’ to activities I crave and enjoy. This is not because I am surrendering, it is because I recognize that this is not an enemy, this is my condition and my body and my limitations, and I am honoring that instead of expending valuable energy fighting the inevitable. Because if there is a fight, there is an inevitable crash, and it’s not pretty or easy. And when that crash comes, I am the one who has to deal with the pain and grief. My family are the ones who must suffer watching me hurt, and do without me in their day-to-day lives while I recover from an energy over-spend. There are always consequences.
I would say to those who give this advice, “Every day is a type of battle for me. I AM FIGHTING. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes every hour.”
Let’s all be more aware from now on that people who give this advice have no clue how we are receiving it. While we must never lose hope, we are allowed periods of rest, a Sabbath of sorts, and these times are crucial for our sanity and even our very survival. We must learn to live in harmony with our illnesses and our limitations. To do anything else does not allow us to be available for our God, and that is not acceptable. To do anything less shows a lack of faith in God’s plan for our lives, and who among us knows better than He?
So today I say, if you are able to be active today, You Go! If you are in a Sabbath Day, Rest Well. If you are in Limbo, Welcome to the Club. It’s not a fun club, but it’s got some super-cool members! Where ever we each are today, let’s support one another and have faith that we know our own bodies and we should listen to them.
Dear Lord, help us to lay down the weapons we use against our own selves unknowingly. Show us the way to live in harmony with our conditions and our limitations. Grant us the grace to accept ourselves, and at the same time the strength to never give up hope. What a balance! We know we can only achieve it through You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
A Blemished Bride?
For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ. – 2 Corinthians 11:2
I love the imagery of the Church being the bride of Christ. In Revelation, chapter 21, we are shown that we will be presented as the Bride of our Lord. Imagine the ceremony… bigger and more beautiful than anything even Hollywood could create… that will join us to our King for eternity! Imagine the white splendor as we are presented to Him, a Bride unsoiled and unblemished. Wait, did you just hear that sound? Sounded like the needle being bumped off the record, didn’t it? Me, unblemished???
So now I ask myself, does my invisible illness cause me to appear blemished before Christ? Am I still the one He would choose for His Bride? The scripture assures me that God looks into my heart, not at my physical presence. (1 Samuel 16:7) Neither does His choice hinge on my abilities, but rather on my desires! (Hebrews 4:12)
Therefore, I can rest easy knowing that as long as He is King of my life and Husband of my heart, I will be His Bride. I will one day don the flowing white gown, and it will fit my form perfectly, not hang awkwardly or cause me any pain. There will be no stains from my clumsiness. I will walk with ease, perhaps even glide up the aisle to be presented to my Groom… no paralysis, no weakness, no stumbling. And when He lifts my veil, I will be beautiful to Him, completely worth the wait, and precious in His sight. May you feel just as lovely today as you are seen by our Lord.
Lord, what a miracle that you would choose to be joined with our imperfect selves for all of eternity! Thank you for the assurance that we are your perfect Bride, no matter our earthly condition. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
The Truth About Strength
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. – Romans 5:3-4
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One of the main things I hear as I go through life with this invisible illness is that we are given this burden so that we might grow stronger. Becoming stronger through struggles… let’s look closer at what the scripture actually says regarding this idea. The above scripture was the closest I could find for this statement that people make. But what does it truly say? It says that our trials and problems will help us to develop endurance, not strength. Then the scripture goes on to say that this endurance we are developing will help to develop strength… of character. This character will in turn strengthen… our hope.
The truth is that we will never be strong enough on our own! Life wasn’t designed that way. We are meant to lean not on our own strength, but on God’s… EVERY. TIME. The LORD gives his people strength. – Psalm 28:8 Even in Old Testament times, when strength was required, God was the one supplying. Strength was never found in numbers, or training, or abilities. It certainly wasn’t found in trials or suffering. The purpose of dependence on God was and still is, that we can then give Him the glory when others notice our supposed strength.
Just as with stillness, God is the giver. All we need do is trust, endure, and ask. We must develop our character during times of trial, focusing on God and never losing our hope. As we do this, it’s like a cycle. We endure, character develops, hope is refreshed, and strength is renewed… which in turn helps us to endure, so that the entire circle begins again.
So the next time you hear how your suffering is building strength, just smile a secret smile and know that your strength will indeed be built, but not by your own design or efforts. Give God the glory, then use that reminder to send up a plea to God to help you endure… and start the cycle anew.
Dear God, what a wondrous plan you have designed for us. Help us to look to you for our strength, and never to lean on ourselves or others. We know you are the giver of all good things and that you will provide. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
In His Image
So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27
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Let’s do this in honor of Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Soak this in today, as will I. You were made in His image. Every part of you (except for the sin) is intentional. You have no mistakes as part of your makeup! Yes, YOU, with all of your flaws, your struggle with your illness, your frustration with your disability, your battle with your pain… you are Christ to the world. You are important beyond what you can comprehend. God has plans for you, and they are great. You are not damaged, diminished, or irrelevant.
I challenge you to revel in your present condition today, instead of resenting it. I will be trying to do the same. This may be extraordinarily difficult, depending on what we are facing today, but God is willing and able to give us the grace and mercy to achieve it. Let’s see what He has in store for us when we approach our difficulties in this way. Oh, and please come back to leave a comment, or send me an email. I’d love to know how this challenge went for you and what God had to show you today.
Father, please move in us today as we do our best to reach for You with a new perspective. The fact that You made us in Your image is humbling, and we don’t want to let you down in that gift, no matter our circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Hope is a Rubber Band
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. – Psalm 62:5
Rubber bands are brilliant creations; so simple, but so useful for so many different tasks. My daughter uses them to hold her hair in a pony-tail. My son uses them as bullets in his imaginary gun. My mom uses them for keeping her recipes together, and my dad uses them to keep that broken toolbox shut. I was considering the rubber band today, and how it relates to hope.
Hope is an elastic thing. Sometimes our hope seems to stretch to impossible distances, while still holding together. Sometimes our hope is small and seems useless. When wrestling with invisible illness, hope is so vital. We literally cannot make it through our challenges without hope. Imagine our hope is a rubber band.
If we just rush into an unrealistic hope, like a healing that will not be granted, and that’s all we hope for regardless of logic or an obvious “no” answer, it can be a lot like stretching a rubber band too far… something’s going to snap. There will be a painful welt raised on our soul and we are left with a non-functioning hope if we refuse to stretch our hope toward something attainable.
If we never hope for anything, and sit to wallow in our illness and the painful parts of it, never asking God what we still have to offer and hoping that He will guide us in those things, our experience can be a lot like a rubber band that has dry rot. Have you ever tried to use an old rubber band, one that’s been sitting in the bottom of your desk drawer for about 2 years, and has never been used? It will snap before you can even shape it on your fingers to attempt to place it around something. Perhaps it will even show fraying or breakage in more than one place, so that you can see the weak spots in it before it’s even used.
The right amount of hope, sustained for a prolonged period of time will yield a stretch that will not bounce back in hard times. We’ve all seen rubber bands that have been stretched around an item for a long time without breaking. Even when they are removed from the object, the elasticity in the band is diminished, so that the rubber remains the size that would be necessary to hold the same item again without having to stretch for it.
This is what we should be!! A rubber band that is not meant to hold something in, but to allow Christ to flow through us. A hope that always shows the size of our Father’s love, is ready to contain our frustrations, but never bounces back to “self size”. It doesn’t happen overnight, any more than the rubber band loses it’s elasticity overnight. But it is possible to attain, and is a glorious aim.
Heavenly Father, stretch us just enough today that our hope loses it’s self shape and elasticity, just enough, not to break us but to grow us in you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Jack of all Trades
By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us, O God of our salvation, You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth, And of the far-off seas – Psalm 65:5
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Growing up, my father was someone who was considered a “Jack of all trades”. Whatever we had go wrong at our house, he could fix it… plumbing, carpentry, auto mechanics, electrical, gardening… he was multi-talented and it seemed to me there was nothing he could not do. He was also our stand-in judge, jury and executioner of punishment. He was our counselor in troubled times, our guide when we needed instruction, the teacher of our most important lessons, and our greatest advisor.
These days, my Dad is still there for me anytime I need him, whether it’s a plumbing emergency or some Godly advice. But I have also come to recognize a very valuable truth. My Father in Heaven is the ultimate “Jack of all trades”! No matter my need or concern, there is nothing my Father cannot fulfill, and to a greater extent than any earthly man could, even my wonderful Dad. I can come to Him for healing, for intercession, for guidance and advice, for rest, for instruction, or simply to enjoy the beauty of His creations. And when I walk away, I am always completely filled and whole. Below are some examples of the “trades” our Heavenly Father is an expert in, and it barely scratches the surface of what He has to offer us!
Physician – Mark 2:17
High Priest – Hebrews 3:1
Caregiver – John 13:14
Nutritionist/Chef – John 4:10
PI – Ezekiel 34:11
Shepherd – Psalm 23
Advocate – 1 John 2:1
Author – Hebrews 5:9
Counselor – Isaiah 9:6
Guide – Psalm 48:14
Judge – Acts 10:42
Artist – Genesis 1:1
Potter – Isaiah 64:8
Bodyguard – Genesis 15:1
Teacher – John 13:13
The next time you are in a bind, have an emergency, or are just feeling unfulfilled, don’t let your fingers do the walking in the earthly yellow pages. Instead, turn to God, the “Jack of all trades”. He will never disappoint.
Father, how can we ever thank You for all of the roles You fill in our lives, and all of the holes You fill in our souls? Forgive us when we turn to earthly fixes or fixers. We love You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Come Boldly
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16
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We quote it, we love it…this verse speaks to us and comforts us. But how hard is it to actually put it into practice! Why is that? As I was examining this verse, I thought of two things that keep me from the promise.
The first thing that keeps me from coming boldly to the throne is something that is a stumbling block for so many of us in so many parts of our life… our pride. While it is true that chronic illness, disability, and pain are the ultimate lessons in humility, it often seems that part of us holds even more tenaciously to the pride that is being stripped away. We are determined to keep some shred of our dignity, and sometimes we confuse the two… but that’s for another blog on another day. Our pride whispers, “you can do this, you don’t need help”, or “just fight a little harder, your strength will grow”. Pride always encourages a dependence on self. The scriptures tell us, and especially the one above, that when we are in need, we can come to the throne of God. It tells us to come boldly, not groveling or ashamed, because God has just what we need and He longs to help, if we will only ask.
The second thing that keeps me from this promise is that it is a gift. Mercy and grace cannot be earned. They are freely given by our Father, and He is generous! He will grant them each time, with no thought as to whether or not we have asked before or how much we have already received. That’s the problem, isn’t it? We are programmed not to ask for gifts! We are even taught that to accept such a generous gift without protest is rude and inconsiderate.
But this is God we are talking about here! This isn’t a stranger who longs to lavish extravagant gifts on us, it is Christ our brother and God our father. The relationship we have, the relationship they long for with us, is not one that is ruled by etiquette rules of our society. They ask for our dependence on them. They wish for us to come with bold confidence before them. They hope that we will trust in the promise. And they will never fail to provide.
Dear Lord, help us to lay aside our pride today and approach Your throne boldly. Please grant us the grace and mercy we so desperately need. We can never thank You enough for the gift of Your extravagant love! In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on July 2, 2014
Asking Why
You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. – Job 42:3
I have asked God why, I won’t say I never have, but I try not to go down that road if I can help it because I know there really is no answer to it and no satisfaction in going down that path. I do know that God did not do this to us and he does count our tears and care about our pain and sorrow very deeply. There is nothing we have done in this life or any other that has brought this on us, it isn’t a punishment of any sort; it’s just a terrible part of living in this broken and evil world we live in that is run by the evil one.
I truly think what that old devil wants is for me be stuck in that cycle that truly doesn’t have a satisfying answer. Instead of asking myself why in the negative sense, like “why is all this pain being piled on me?”, I find that I have to turn that around to a different kind of Why questioning. It looks something like this:
*Why out of all the people in the world, did you bring Brian and I together? Wow, what a miracle that we would meet at just the time we did and fall in love.
*Why did you allow me to have my precious children, despite all of my other health issues? Why did you favor me by bringing me back from the brink to see their precious angel faces turn from baby cheeks to handsome young man and beautiful young lady?
*Why, though hundreds of miles and sometimes a sizable pond separate us and we will probably never meet in person, did you make a path for me to connect with other amazing people through the internet?
Those types of Why questions can help us see the ways that God is caring for us through all the struggles life is throwing our way, and can help to keep us focused on those things rather than on the negatives that really have no rhyme or reason.
Why do we suffer and have pain? Because the devil finds great delight in heaping it on us at every chance he gets, then blaming the God instead. Don’t fall into that trap. Begin to ask Why questions that point us back to the true nature of our Lord.
Dear God, we cannot thank you enough for your blessings. Help us to focus our mind on those, instead of fruitless questioning of things that are too wonderful for us to understand. I know we will never be disappointed if we pursue those things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
