Updated on August 31, 2016
Why We Have to Keep Fighting
Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
It’s hard, so let’s just get that out right up front. It’s hard to continue to go to the doctors when you’ve been so abused by them. It’s so hard to continue getting up and out of bed every morning when you feel so useless. It’s incredibly hard to keep fighting for your health and well-being when it seems sorta pointless by now.
But can I share something with you that I’ve been reminding myself of a lot lately?
It is not our decision as to whether or not we continue to fight. Giving up or quitting is simply not an option. As long as God keeps us here, it’s our job to do the best we can for Him, and part of that is taking care of His temple.
You are His temple, remember?
In the state we’re in, it so often feels like there’s not a thing we can still do that would be a praise to God, but we can still honor Him. We can make the hard choice to get back up in the morning and fight to take care of His temple.
So you must honor God with your body.
Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you? God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple. – 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. – Ephesians 2:20-21
Honor Him, Dear Ones. Fight on.
Dear God, Never allow the doubt of our worth to fester in our hearts. Thank You for treasuring us enough to want to make us Your dwelling place. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 31, 2016
A Blessing or a Curse?
photo credit: Sandeep Somasekharan via photopin cc
The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” – Job 1:8
I often think of Job. Go back and read Job. Meditate on Job. He was a fellow sufferer, much more so than I have ever suffered.
The above verse always pricked my temper just a bit. I mean, really Lord? Did you have to go and throw the man under the bus like that? Poor Job’s just minding his own Godly business and God’s up there bringing him to the attention of the evil one!
But let me share with you something God has shared with me recently.
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. – James 1:12
We persevere under trial, don’t we? Every day.
We turn to God and do our best to show Jesus even when our way is dark and difficult.
In light of this, “Have you considered my servant?” sounds an awful lot like, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’ – Matthew 25:21
Precious Lord, help me never to forget that You already know all of my days. You know all of my answers, reactions and moods. Thank you for trusting me with this suffering. Please grant that it can showcase You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 28, 2016
10 Verses that Grow Endurance (& Free Printable)
I tried today to choose some lesser-known verses that help me through the tough times. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most focus on Jesus. Seems pretty right to me. May they encourage you as well…
Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love. – 2 John 1:3
This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers. – 1 Timothy 4:10
For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. – Psalm 100:5
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. – Philippians 1:6
And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. – 2 Corinthians 1:10
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. – 1 Peter 1:6
But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. – 2 Corinthians 2:14
But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in him you will have life by the power of his name. – John 20:31
Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. – Hebrews 10:36
We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy. – James 5:11
Dear Lord, the blessing of Your word is priceless. Thank You, a million times, thank You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 28, 2016
When You’re Making Bricks Without Straw
So the slave drivers and foremen went out and told the people: “This is what Pharaoh says: I will not provide any more straw for you. Go and get it yourselves. Find it wherever you can. But you must produce just as many bricks as before!” – Exodus 5:10-11
Photo by cyanocorax 
So here’s the schpill, for those of you not familiar with this story:
In a nutshell, God said (through Moses), “Let my people go.” Pharoah said, “Not only NO, but let me teach Your people to listen to the likes of Moses.”
So Pharoah made this decree you see above. I mean, so magnanimous to grant your slaves the straw to make your bricks with, right? Let’s just say he’s done doing them any favors!
Long story short, the quota is not met (well, duh) and the foreman is beaten and the Israelites are discouraged. Moses approaches God again on their behalf.
Then Moses went back to the Lord and protested, “Why have you brought all this trouble on your own people, Lord? Why did you send me? Ever since I came to Pharaoh as your spokesman, he has been even more brutal to your people. And you have done nothing to rescue them!” – Exodus 5:22-23
Let’s just say Moses is gutsy, shall we? I’ve been gutsy like that myself at times. Have you?
Honestly, when illness makes me feel like a slave already, and then Pharoah (we all know who that is, don’t we?) refuses to give you any straw, but demands the same amount of bricks be made daily, it can ramp up the, um, ahem… gutsy.
But I digress… back to our story.
This is where we meet Yahweh for the first time. And here is what He says:
You can be sure that I have heard the groans of the people of Israel, who are now slaves to the Egyptians. And I am well aware of my covenant with them. – Exodus 6:5
I mean, really, do I think God needs reminding? My head is not right in those gutsy moments. It’s really not. The Isrealites felt the same way.
So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery. – Exodus 6:9
Me, too. Preach it, Israelites. Word.
But here’s the thing. God’s plan didn’t change. It didn’t even waver. Because His end goal was the same.
But the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron and gave them orders for the Israelites and for Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. The Lord commanded Moses and Aaron to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt. – Exodus 6:13
You can be certain that Yahweh is still the Lord Your God. He still has a plan. It has never wavered, not ever.
You can be sure He has heard your groans and that He is always mindful of His covenant with us. It was bought and sealed with His Son’s blood, after all.
May this strengthen your faith, as it’s strengthening mine today.
Holy Lord, You are always the same. Your love is amazing. Please strengthen and uphold me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 28, 2016
Lead On, Jesus
“Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:20
I’ve had many times when I thought I had reached the last of the “new” news in these past six years or so. The time I realized I was actually ill. The time that I knew this was rare and chronic. The point where I accepted that disability was for, well… ever. The loss of more and more and more… and more.
At every stage, it was like Jesus was just sitting with me. He had His elbows on His knees, just relaxed-like. I sat beside Him, head in hands. I looked up, straightened my shoulders, briskly wiped the tears away, and said, “Well, ok then. We’re here. You’re with me. I can do this.”
And then I just would sorta start to unpack. You know what I mean? Get comfy. Decorate. Settle in. Cause I mean, this is the new normal, right?
Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I was mostly brought here kicking and screaming, but there’s nothing that will change it, so I may as well settle in. With Jesus, of course.
That’s when it usually hits me that Jesus is not participating in this home-making. I amble over to sit next to Him again. He’s still in exactly the same position he was in. He hasn’t even changed facial expression. He’s patient like that. Thankfully.
I sit down next to Him, and just enjoy the silence, the peace that only His presence can bring. But I’m determined to hop back up and get that suitcase emptied soon. I take a chance and look over at Him. I smile to reassure Him that I’m okay. Surely that’s why He’s still sitting here, right?
Jesus, He doesn’t move a muscle, just looks over at me, kinda sideways. The look on His face is pure sympathy. Understanding. It chills me because I’ve seen that look before. I know exactly what it means.
See, we’re not really at the place where Home is yet. We’re just going a bit farther each time. A bit deeper. Together, always together. And He just sits quietly while I come to terms, such as it is. Get a better grip. Adjust.
Accept.
Then He says, oh so softly, “You ready?” I place my hand in His outstretched one. It’s warm and strong and tender. And nail-scarred.
That’s when I remember why this journey is okay. It’s okay because He’s walked it already. He never moves me on before I’m ready for the next part. His instincts are flawless. And His love…. oh that’s just mindblowingly big and deep and wide and perfect.
Lead on, Jesus. I’m right behind you.
Father God, never stop leading. And may I never stop putting my hand in Yours and following. I love you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 25, 2016
When He Quoted Myself to Me
“Prepare your shields, and advance into battle!” – Jeremiah 46:3
This week I’ve been listening. Taking the quiet as an invitation and tuning in. He’s spoken to me through the healing words of friends, reminding me of restored relationships and the precious gifts they are. He’s spoken to me through songs, both new and old. He’s spoken to me through hugs and smiles and kind words from others. The isolation is lessening. The fear is receding.
But the main thing He’s done has blown my mind a little. The main thing He’s done is remind me of my own words. Past posts that I’ve written that I have forgotten all about. When I go back and read them, they seem even truer now than they did then. How did my younger self know that I would need those today, that they would become my own lifeline? The Holy Spirit.
And so today I share the one that has kept me going all week. Through next week, I’ll be sharing others, resurrecting them if you will. I hope you don’t mind. This first one happens to be one I recorded before my voice troubles began.
Heavenly Lord, it amazes me how You gave me these words knowing how desperately I would need them right this minute. Thank You for reminding me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
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Shelly
Posted on August 23, 2016
Glorious Tuesday: Compelled Like Balaam
But God was angry because he was going, and the angel of the Lord took his stand in the way as an adversary against him. – Numbers 22:22
I know, I know. What’s Balaam doing here in the midst of all of these Godly men and women of scripture?
But Balaam has a very important lesson to teach us. Several in fact, but we’ll stick with the one.
God uses imperfect people. Not really surprising, since His audience is a bunch of imperfect people. And Jesus was, after all, the only perfect man ever to live on this earth.
Balaam, he was about as imperfect as they come. A foreigner with a greedy and pompous heart, and a medium to boot. Peter tells us that following in this man’s footsteps is a sure way to know you are doing wrong.
They have wandered off the right road and followed the footsteps of Balaam son of Beor, who loved to earn money by doing wrong. – 2 Peter 2:15
But God still used Him. Not for Balaam’s sake but for His own sake, for the sake of His remnant, and maybe even for the sake of some of those Gentiles who needed to see and hear of the Living God. They were imperfect people, so very imperfect.
Photo by doggystaves
Were it not for Balaam’s donkey, Balaam would have met His maker long before being able to be a vessel who spoke for Him. Let’s face it… that animal spoke more wisdom on that trail than Balaam likely ever did in his poor miserable life.
Except for the time that God placed words on his imperfect tongue.
There are those like Him, even today.
Some, to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will; the latter do it out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. – Philippians 1:15-18
We can choose to preach Christ willingly, joyfully even, or we can find one day that we have His words on our tongue, and Christ is being proclaimed despite us.
Either way, the only way to correct our imperfections is to turn to Him.
For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. – Hebrews 10:14
Let’s Go Deeper:
1. What kind of imperfections do you struggle with?
2. How do they keep you from speaking for Him?
3. Write here a verse that helps you to remember that He uses imperfect people.
4. What is one thing you can do, today, to boldly proclaim Christ’s love in someone’s life?
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on August 19, 2016
And Ended Up Being a Window Into My World
Not so long ago, I talked about how I realized that I am a double agent. I outlined 3 steps of how I eased into this role. Today I tackle the last of those steps.
Today, let’s talk about embracing isolation. I wish I could just say, “Don’t do it,” and that would be the end of that. But we all know it’s not that simple and definitely not that easy.
And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. – Ecclesiastes 4:12
Despite the fact that I have been digging out through prayer and a change in inner dialogue for weeks now, I still am fighting this isolation just as much today as I was when I first noticed it.
I feel terror, not just fear, but real terror, at the tiniest of tasks these days. Tasks that, once done, bring me joy and peace. Tasks that lead me to feel less alone and much more encouraged. Tasks that I never before considered to be tasks. They were the things I looked forward to, the things that kept me forging ahead, the way that God poured blessings onto my head.
Keeping in touch. Writing an email. Processing through my blog. Silly conversations with friends. Interactions of all kind. These should not be tasks to be dreaded, even feared. So why are they?
I think a big part of it has to do with the fact that I have lost much of my confidence. I no longer trust myself and I am very self-conscious and even at times ashamed of what has happened to me. I no longer talk on the phone because my speech is so affected, I am sometimes difficult to understand. I also speak so quietly that others have a hard time hearing me. It’s due to the muscles weakening, including the ones for breathing. It’s not my fault and it doesn’t mean I am at all diminished mentally. But here’s the rub…
I sound like I’m diminished mentally. I feel like I sound like that. I fear that I sound like that. I’m not as quick-witted as I once was, either, which I know is due to the level of pain I deal with every day. Regardless, it adds to my, “I’m an idiot” scenario.
This opens the door to all other kinds of self-doubt. What if my personality has changed and no one has the heart to tell me? What if I’m no fun anymore? What if my mental ability is way lower than I recognize and I just keep talking and talking because I’m clueless?
Now I can no longer have a conversation where it doesn’t become a second-guessing of everything I say and how I say it. Was that wrong? Did that sound bad? Am I off-topic?
Problem number two…
My life is my illness at this point. Seriously, it really is. I do genealogy, I write, I watch movies, but my life is pared-down, bare-bones at this point. It’s impossible for me to watch the news and keep up with current events because any type of stress sends my symptoms through the roof. I sleep mostly during the day, thanks to a high level of pain, an inability to breathe properly, and a brain that has lost it’s mind regarding proper sleep time. So my awake hours and other folks’ awake hours have a very small window when they meet. I have to prioritize every day so that I can try and get my top priorities accomplished sometime between I’m-finally-awake-enough-to-interact and I’m-technically-awake-but-brain-has-left-the-building. I mostly watch the same movies over and over. Read the same books over and over. I don’t really leave the house other than to get to the doctor.
What do I have to contribute to a conversation? My life is what it needs to be right now. My schedule is what it needs to be right now. But it’s weird. And it’s boring.
The rest of the world has a life and I’m just not part of it anymore. I feel like the awkward conversationalist, the fumbling one. How do I respond to what he just said? What bit of information does she think I know that I obviously don’t know?
And last but not least, I’m just so flat-out overwhelmed by all life is throwing at me right now. It’s hard to chit-chat when everything is so very, very serious. And yet, I also feel guilty for talking about my health and my reality to others every single day. Have I become a whiney hiney? Is it fair to share my burden when the burden is so big and heavy and ugly?
Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that the most difficult step to tackle would be this third one of isolation. I’m granting myself grace… something I’m learning to do on this journey. I’m asking for prayer regarding my terror of “others”. I’m giving myself another week to process with Jesus, now that I’ve really gotten to the root of what is causing this. And next week I will write about what He teaches me.
It’s going to be so, so good.
Sweet Jesus, I am coming closer. Closer to You, Your light, Your warmth, Your strong open arms. Please help us all who struggle in this way. In Your name we pray, Amen…
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Shelly
Updated on August 15, 2016
Glorious Tuesday: Mutinous Like Abigail
When the Lord has done all he promised and has made you leader of Israel, don’t let this be a blemish on your record. Then your conscience won’t have to bear the staggering burden of needless bloodshed and vengeance. And when the Lord has done these great things for you, please remember me, your servant! – 1 Samuel 25:30-31
Argh! There’s mutiny afoot! Abigail isn’t the most demure, submissive of wives, is she?
There are those who believe that wives must bow to their husbands will and decisions, no matter whether they follow the will of God. Abigail puts an end to that discussion quickly!
Nabal, whose name means “fool”, lived up to his name. And Abigail was a godly enough woman to honor him in his home, protect his men when he wouldn’t, and recognize David as God’s chosen man. She refused to let Nabal’s cowardly actions reflect poorly on her household.
She didn’t just go into her closet and pray about it. She didn’t just nag Nabal and incur his wrath fruitlessly. She didn’t worry and fret in indecision while David fumed and planned.
Abigail recognized the need for speed in her actions. She directed servants with no doubt in her voice. She rode to David herself. She came bearing gifts. Upon meeting him, Abigail fell to the ground and bowed before a man who was not yet king.
Why? Because God had revealed to her His plans for David. And she trusted, without a hint of doubt, that God could and would protect David at the expense of all others.
If mutiny was what was called for to spare innocent lives from her husbands foolishness, Abigail would be mutinous. If speaking up to a man who could easily crush her was necessary to right a wrong, Abigail would not allow fear to silence her. She would not be too weak to take matters into her own hands.
And yet, Abigail also shows us what true submission looks like. It isn’t weak or fearful or unconcerned with the will of God. No, true submission looks like a bold, outspoken woman prostrating herself in the dirt before a man she knows to be God’s chosen. She submits to God and has no trouble humbling herself before His will.
And David’s reaction?
David replied to Abigail, “Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me today! Thank God for your good sense! Bless you for keeping me from murder and from carrying out vengeance with my own hands. For I swear by the Lord, the God of Israel, who has kept me from hurting you, that if you had not hurried out to meet me, not one of Nabal’s men would still be alive tomorrow morning.” – 1 Samuel 25:32-34
Even David recognized the truth and wisdom his God was imparting to him through this unknown woman’s words. Abigail went on to prophesy that David’s enemies would all come to ruin and that the Lord would repay any debt of retribution owed to David.
Ten days later, the Lord proved true to His word and Nabal died. David recognized it as the Lord’s vengeance. I’m sure following that, he was much more certain of Abigail’s wisdom and submission to God.
We serve that same God. Are we just a quick to put our faith into action when He calls on us? Are we just as quick to discern His will and His servants?
Are we bold enough to act as Abigail, in true submission?
For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. – Philippians 1:20
May it ever be, Lord. May it ever be.
Let’s Go Deeper:
1. What is your view on submission?
2. How does Abigail shake up or confirm those ideas?
3. Write here a verse that reminds you to be bold for the Lord.
4. What is one thing you can do, today, to encourage someone to stand strong in Christ?
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
Updated on August 11, 2016
What God Thinks of My Inner Dialogue
So a couple of weeks ago, I talked about how I realized that I am a double agent. I outlined 3 steps of how I eased into this role. Now the digging out continues.
Today, let’s talk about inner dialogue. We all know how important kindness is in the life of a Christian. Words like mercy, grace, love and compassion… these are what we strive to show to others. Why not to ourselves?
Photo by 2murgatroyd
The last couple of weeks, the Lord has kept two verses at the forefront of my mind.
The first:
but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! – James 3:8-10
and also
Some people make cutting remarks,
but the words of the wise bring healing. – Proverbs 12:18
Ouch. And Thank You, Lord.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life. – Psalm 139:23-24
There is a reason the Holy Spirit had the New Testament writers repeat the beautiful truth of God’s love for us.
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:6-8
Because He didn’t, as we wrongly think, need anything from us other than to love Him back. To love Him enough to become His friend.
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. – John 15:12-14
And so all this agonizing, this berating of our weaknesses that we constantly do, tearing ourselves down in our own mind… this is contrary to the Holy Spirit.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
These failings we so detest, these shattered places that cause us to despise ourselves, these are the very places where God shines most brightly through us.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. – 2 Corinthians 4:7
Instead we should align our thinking to follow His lead.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8
When I began to put these thoughts into action, not letting any thoughts fully form until they had passed this test, I began to realize just how much I needed to eliminate from my internal dialogue. Seriously, it shocked me to my core to recognize how little I had to say to or about myself that passed the Spirit’s guidelines.
Some days, those thoughts are all that seem to flow from me. I have begun printing off scripture and taping them up where I can see them throughout the day and the long nights. I used to do this all the time, in my healthier days, but somehow I lost that good habit along the way, making it easier for the enemy to feed the seed of self-hatred and abuse.
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. – 2 Timothy 3:16
And so some days are now filled with more silence than I’m comfortable with, but even in that there is blessing. See that’s the third topic for our little series here… isolation and how we deal with it.
I’ve shared here many of the scriptures I’ve hung up to keep myself grounded until I break the cycle of self-abuse. Which scriptures would you choose?
“But I will send you the Advocate—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me. – John 15:26
Dear God, Thank You immensely for the gift of the Holy Spirit, for the treasure of Your written Word. Help us never to take these Scriptures for granted, but to engrave them on our hearts for when our flesh is too weak to find them in the dark moments. We love you, Father. In Jesus’ Name, Amen…
If you have been helped by this post and think it could be helpful to someone you know, please share this post on the social network of your choice for me.
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May God Bless You,
Shelly
